brickbybrick | open rp post!

[He shakes his head. This is going to be harder than he thought it would be.]

I don't wish to take anything from you or yours, my lady. I only want to reclaim what is mine, not add to it.

By using what is ours. By using...

[Mother. There are times when she's permitted herself to refer to Lady as "Mother." It seemed to please her when she did. But now? It's all gotten so muddled now.]

She's not as smart as she thinks she is but I can see right through you.

[It's strange, to hear Une described that way. Perhaps it's her illustrious reputation, or just the fact that she'd managed to fool him into thinking her a secretary when they first met, but he honestly can't imagine her as less smart than she believes herself to be.]

What can you see, then?

For one thing, she snores and spills coffee everywhere. She sleeps at her desk then complains about back pain all the time when she only has herself to blame. Really, you can do better. Her second-in-command told me my father said she lacked grace.

[And she changed for your father. He later found out he didn't like 'grace' as much as he thought he did.

Mariemaia knows she's committing the sin of omission but desperation has driven better people to deception.]

Why not try meeting with Sally? She's a doctor. Weren't you married to a doctor?

[He sucks in a breath, a sudden ache in his heart. Gods, he still misses Jeyne, misses her smile and laughter and voice and touch and everything.]

Aye, I was. Her name was Jeyne. [Jeyne Westerling, and while the first time they slept together had been a mistake brought on by grief, he'd grown to love her.

He's starting to think he can grow to love Une as well, though.]

But I won't be able to marry anyone like her again. [He lets out a breath.] I've accepted that, already. Une is someone else entirely, and I want to marry her on her own merits, not simply because of her similarities to Jeyne.

From what I hear, you're not much like my father either. It's hard to know what she sees in you. I never really met Father but I heard a lot about him. Tall, blond, handsome, brave, noble, kind... I could go on. He was a lot of things you're not. And yet she's forgetting him for you.

[Every word is laced with bitterness. She has no pity for this opportunistic widower. Perhaps it's her father in her that's offering protest. He doesn't deserve to lose what's rightfully his.]

It's not right. You know that, don't you?

I don't think she could. I can't forget Jeyne for her, I won't expect her to forget your father for me.

[Neither of them can forget, but he hopes they can move forward nonetheless.]

You don't understand, do you? She's already begun to forget. There's a way she-- you wouldn't know. When she first took me in, she did it for my father. There were always stories. She'd smile and laugh when she told me about him. Really smile and laugh. We'd look over the old maps and she'd show me Corsica and Mombasa and Lake Victoria. She'd point out everywhere she'd gone with him and tell me we'd go there someday, too.

But now? Now she tells me about the moon and how she couldn't get him to come to her there. She tells me about how Father wouldn't go because he didn't think he was strong even if she did. She talks about how she understands Father now since she doesn't think she's as strong as I think. Well, I don't understand. I don't understand why you have to be here. I don't understand why she keeps leaving to help you out. She's just making herself weaker. You're a burden.

[Just like me. And she can't carry both of us. You have to go. Just go...

She knows she's being selfish but she's also barely ten. What else can one expect? Her grandfather had raised her in the ways of war. She had been made to learn terrible things about life and death from an early age. Ever since her real mother died, she hadn't known true love. She barely remembers Leia now. All she had was Lady. And she was losing that, too. Losing her the same way she had lost all the soldiers who had practically worshipped her. They were all so quick to betray her when her grandfather died. If Lady hadn't stepped in, she has no doubt about what her fate would have been. What would she do when she lost her new mother's protection because of this man? It's just not fair.]

[You're a burden. He huffs out a tired, mirthless laugh--she isn't the only one to have thought that. Sometimes, in the darkest parts of the night when he can't sleep, he wonders if he doesn't just fuck up everything he touches, everything he does.]

Sometimes I don't understand why she helps, either. She was well within her rights to refuse to help me when I asked her to. [There's still so much he can't understand about her, honestly.] She still is.

She's not. It's a compulsion. I wouldn't be here if she could help herself.

[There are times when Lady even asks about Leia. An angel in white with golden hair. That's how Mariemaia remembers her mother. She'd been a nurse when she met Father and...things happened. That's all she knows and Lady doesn't press for more.

I'm sure your father loved your mother but it was a complicated time. All that matters now is I'm here to love you as they would have wanted to.]

[He moves to sit beside her.]

And why not, my lady?

If the woman you loved had a baby with someone else then died without ever having told you about it, would you take it in? Never mind the fact that I almost started a war. Literally.

[Really. Literally. LITERALLY.]

I would. [It's short and simple, but there are so many reasons why. It all boils down to one thing, though: he can't, won't not take Jeyne's child in.]

And as for wars, well, I did start one.

On purpose?

Aye. My father and sisters were being held by the Lannisters, and I started a war to bring them back.

[He looks down now, at his hands, and gods--it had seemed...well, not easy, but it wasn't as complicated as it became.]

...I couldn't. My father died, Sansa was married off, and Arya--gods, we never heard a word about her.

So you had a family, hm? At least for a little while. How fortunate. You understand why I don't want you taking mine then.

[There goes that fake smile again. She pairs it with a cheerful lilt of her voice but it all sounds so hollow. Deep down, she does sympathize but one-upmanship has always been the name of the game for her. It always comes down to "Doesn't matter. Had worse."]

I don't want to take your family. [He knows the feeling of losing everything, knows how hollow it makes one feel. He doesn't want anyone else to feel that way, especially not a child.]

I've lost mine. I don't want you to think you'll lose yours.

So you mean to change my mind then? Go on. I'm listening. Nothing wrong with a fair fight.

You can stay with Une, if you want. I've no right to try to separate you from each other, I know that, and my marrying her won't change my thoughts on that. [wryly:] And even if it did, I doubt either of you would agree with me.

But if we're going to see each other more often, I'd like to not worry about my shins, at least.

And why should I believe you? You're kind of famous for not keeping promises, you know. You won't have to worry about your shins for very long. I'll be tall enough to get to the low-hanging fruit soon.

[Nope. No brothers and sisters please. 8| Going to kick that hard.]

[...wow, that's going to be painful. He winces at the reminder of the promises he'd broken, and the consequences he suffered for it.]

Will you believe me if I tell you I did my best to keep them?

So you're basically saying your best is lacking?

[Though really, she's tempted to cut him some slack. She's read quite a bit about him and he's suffered a lot. Biting her lip, she tries to hide the fact that she's torn. She just wants things to go back to the way they were. That's never going to happen if he stays. But at least it looks like he won't be sending her away...]

I guess I can't really be mad about that. At least you admit it. But you can't go breaking promises now. If you do, we're going to end up going down, too.

I won't. I learned not to months ago. [All too well, in fact.

Notice the lack of I promise. He's broken too many of those to trust himself with this one.]

[Tilting her head, she gives him a long hard stare. Well, he doesn't seem to be lying. And he's not being patronizing like the others. Definitely not talking to her like she's some stupid little girl. Moving to stand, she picks up a book and extends her hand.]

We can shake on it if you tell Lady not to yell at me for what I did at dinner.

[And here he smiles, taking her hand in his to shake it.]

Aye, I will. I've had worse, anyways.

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prevented - 2013-06-08 06:58 (UTC) - Expand